Feelings
Before I begin I am going to apoligise to anyone I offend with my language but sometimes this language explains the way I am feeling better than words ever could.
I am currently feeling absolutely fucked up. I feel like a piece of shit that has been hit by a steamroller. Someone very close to me just had their first ever epelictic fit not two hours gone. It was frightening to the extreme watching them lie on the floor with uncontrolled spasms running through them. It terrified me and I am still not fully myself at the moment. I was working this afternoon and my hands were trembling as I drove there. My supervisor was incredibly kind and let my go home after an hour. It's just such a shock to the system so unexpected that it left me reeling. Life is not perfect but sometimes when my greatest worries are assignments and getting out of staff-training everything seems normal. Even though as a Christian I know that stuff goes wrong it is still hard to believe that this would happen in a Christian home. But when I'm suddenly hit by this it throws everything into a tail spin. I prayed to God for my friend's protection, but now I ask Him, why my friend why now? All I can say is that Jesus reigns and God is in control even when my world isn't. I love Him so much and must trust in Him.
I don't know who I am writing this to or even my reasons for writing this but maybe its easier to confess to a computer screen than breaking down face to face.
Anyway God bless you all and thank you so much for your friendship.
Jared
I am currently feeling absolutely fucked up. I feel like a piece of shit that has been hit by a steamroller. Someone very close to me just had their first ever epelictic fit not two hours gone. It was frightening to the extreme watching them lie on the floor with uncontrolled spasms running through them. It terrified me and I am still not fully myself at the moment. I was working this afternoon and my hands were trembling as I drove there. My supervisor was incredibly kind and let my go home after an hour. It's just such a shock to the system so unexpected that it left me reeling. Life is not perfect but sometimes when my greatest worries are assignments and getting out of staff-training everything seems normal. Even though as a Christian I know that stuff goes wrong it is still hard to believe that this would happen in a Christian home. But when I'm suddenly hit by this it throws everything into a tail spin. I prayed to God for my friend's protection, but now I ask Him, why my friend why now? All I can say is that Jesus reigns and God is in control even when my world isn't. I love Him so much and must trust in Him.
I don't know who I am writing this to or even my reasons for writing this but maybe its easier to confess to a computer screen than breaking down face to face.
Anyway God bless you all and thank you so much for your friendship.
Jared
5 Comments:
Dude! Calm...... be still.
It's scary when things like that happen. Epilepsy can be quite scary... had you done the First Aid course for Engineers? They do a big section on it. It's waay more common than people think.
I guess what weirds me out the most about them is the lack of control that people have over their actions. I am a self-confessed control freak, so knowing that something is happening to a friend of mine that neither of us have any control over scares me.... a lot.
God DOES have control - and he excels at keeping us safe, if only we trust in him. See my latest post for a slight tangent on this train of thought.
Anyways - be calm, and know that while it was scary, it is a very manageable condition that many many New Zealanders suffer from. Feel better. :)
And Aussies too! my Brother has epilepsy. And i had a mild case when i was younger. it is hard for them and for everyone around them. But control is not our job. our job is friendship and support. There will be things your mate cant do anymore (drive, maybe drink, stay out late etc) or only do in moderation.
It is a common condition as Mike said. and the first time is always the worst for friends and family. Peace Jared. Praying for your friend. remember to be there for them. they'll need you to be there.
dude, that sux! Seeing someone have an epileptic fit is fully scary huh. I'm thiking of you and your friend.
I only just read this so I didn't know this is what was going on when I saw you yesterday, but dude, I am so glad I gave you that hug!
*more hugs coming your way in spirit*
So, yeah, I'll be praying for you and your friend, but like the other guys have said, epilepsy itself sucks, but it's not as bad as a lot of people think. It's the emotional reaction to it that's more screwy. Love you matey.
Hey dude... wow. yeah. I don't really know what to say, these sort of things have a similar effect on me. Don't know if this is helpful but it just popped into my head...
Psa 23:
Jehovah is my shepherd; I shall not lack. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me to waters of rest; He restores my soul; He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table for me before ones vexing me; You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of Jehovah for as long as my days.
Sometimes I think the wonder of knowing God is not that He will take us out of the valley, but He will walk with us through it. As as He walks with us, He can point out the flowers that grow even in the darkest places, He gives us a ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on, He helps us walk when we are weak, and above all, He reminds us that the valley will fade away and be replaced by a new heaven and a new earth that we will enjoy forever. It doesn't make life any easier, but it gives us hope and strength to carry on.
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